Recapture my Attention

King of My Heart: Love and The Outcome




I don't know if any of you this week has felt like your attention has been pulled in a million directions. My thoughts have been preoccupied with things that are not pure and I have been renewing myself daily to try and keep the thoughts from taking root in my heart and in my mind. The temptations that I have been facing have been in multiples and they have tried to steal my attention from my Lord and the King of my life. The struggle is real and it has created an uproar in my soul. It has been a trying week facing one giant after another. It has caused me to remember the frailty of my humanity. My attention can too easily be stolen away from the things of God's Kingdom to things that have no eternal value.  

There are genuine reasons for my attention to be captured and these are often not evil in and of themselves. However, my focus has lacked discipline. Negative and ungodly thoughts have been given the roam of my mind and some of the thoughts have caused confusion and a fight for guarding my purity and this is my job. I am the protector of my heart and I choose what captures my attention. For a while now, my heart I believed was safely guarded and protected. Through several breaches I have seen how the worlds' ideas, perceptions, and values have distorted my perception. Thankfully, I have noticed it through reading God's word. being diligent in filling my spirit with truth and meditating on the truth I have seen the weak areas where the enemy has tried to attack my defenses. The fight is ongoing. The war does not stop. Don't become complacent for you will see as I have now come to see that your defense system can be challenged and negativity and corruption of your mind will enter if you allow it. We have the role as guardian of our hearts. 
It says in God's word in Mark 7:14-23 (NLT)14 Then Jesus called to the crowd to come and hear. “All of you listen,” he said, “and try to understand. 15 It’s not what goes into your body that defiles you; you are defiled by what comes from your heart.[h]”

17 Then Jesus went into a house to get away from the crowd, and his disciples asked him what he meant by the parable he had just used. 18 “Don’t you understand either?” he asked. “Can’t you see that the food you put into your body cannot defile you? 19 Food doesn’t go into your heart, but only passes through the stomach and then goes into the sewer.” (By saying this, he declared that every kind of food is acceptable in God’s eyes.)

20 And then he added, “It is what comes from inside that defiles you. 21 For from within, out of a person’s heart, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, 22 adultery, greed, wickedness, deceit, lustful desires, envy, slander, pride, and foolishness. 23 All these vile things come from within; they are what defile you.”

The important thing to remember is that the things we allow in our heart will have the power to defile us. In Proverbs 4:23, it says that we must guard our hearts, for it determines the course of our life. I have seen how vital it is as believers in Christ to keep track of the breaches in our security, look at where we have left our hearts unprotected. We need to read his word and meditate on it for it is the life to our souls and the truth in the midst of much confusion (which comes from the world we live in and its precepts).  It will help us navigate this life and avoid the ditches and detours. Our God wants us to live with our hearts and minds captivated by him and his glory. he gives us the tools and wisdom to protect our minds and our hearts but it is our job (one that I will take more seriously) to be diligent and guard them.  

Prayer: Lord, recapture my attention and let me see where the possible cracks are in my defense wall. Teach me to guard my heart and abide by your truth and live by your ways. For your ways are higher than my own and they alone will lead to life abundant. Thank you for giving me your word that I can use to lead me through the battles of this life. Help me Lord to set my eyes on your Kingdom, on things eternal. You alone are the king of my heart and I truly want to serve you and live to bring you honor and glory forever, Amen. 

Throw Aside Every Encumbrance: What Does This Mean For Us Christ Followers?

Hebrews 12:1-2 (amplified version) " Therefore then, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses [ who have borne testimony to the Truth], let us strip off and throw aside every encumbrance (unnecessary weight) and that sin which so readily (deftly and cleverly) clings to and entangles us, and let us run with patient endurance and steady and active persistence the appointed course of the race is set before us, Looking away [from all that will distract] to Jesus, Who is the Leader and the Source of our faith [giving the first incentive for our belief] and is also its finisher [bringing it] to maturity and perfection]. He, for the joy [of obtaining the prize] that was set before Him, endured the cross, despising and ignoring the shame, and is now seated at the right hand of the throne of God."  * all emphasis is mine

Let's look at a simpler translation (NLV)

Hebrews 12:1"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us."

Before I talk about what spoke to my heart from this verse today, I want to first take a look at the word encumberance in a few different contexts different contexts. 

Strong's Concordance

Greek: ogkos: bulk, an encumbrance

Original Word: ὄγκος, ου, ὁ
Part of Speech: Noun, Masculine
Transliteration: ogkos
Phonetic Spelling: (ong'-kos)
Short Definition: a weight, burden
Definition: (properly: bulk, mass, hence) a weight, burden, encumbrance.

Business: An encumbrance is a financial burden, or a hindrance that can take several forms: mortgages, claims by other parties, court judgments, pending legal action, unpaid taxes, restrictive deed or loan covenants, easement rights of the neighbors, or zoning ordinances.

Read more: http://www.businessdictionary.com/definition/encumbrance.html#ixzz3IKBcUdEq


The verse above says to run and throw aside every encumbrance, this means anything that is going to slow you down from reaching the finish line. This could be regret, resentment, unforgiveness, negative thoughts, past relationships, anger, feelings of hopelessness etc. It says later on in the sentence why we must let them go and intentionally throw them off and leave them behind. We must let them go for if we don't they will entangle us, cling to us. They will SLOW us down and the weight of what we are carrying will cause our balance to be shifted. 

Today as I was reading this, a soft whisper whispered " Throw it off. Be intentional about it."

This world is full of distractions, full of opportunities to be slowed down on the race that God has set before us. Our role is not to worry or carry the weight ourselves, it is to throw the burden/circumstance into the hands of the one who can handle it (Our  Heavenly Father) and be intentional about casting aside anything that will slow us down, and reminding ourselves that God will take care of any encumbrance that needs to be dealt with (something in process). Our job is to run patiently and with endurance and keep looking ahead to Jesus who is giving us the strength, the faith, and the motivation to cross the finish line.  Let's let people see that we don't have to let things slow us down or keep us in constant turmoil. We can be free from the heavy burdens of this life. 

God gives us the answer for when we are burdened about something in life: "Be intentional and look towards me. I alone can carry your burdens for I am the Author, Source and Finisher or your faith and only have I successfully defeated the things of this world. Come to me and I will give you rest. Give me your burdens. Throw off the excess baggage and run towards me. I am waiting here with open arms. 

Suticases Lyric Video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4cFZcSivZI

Giving God Our Every Day

When you let God lead you never know who you may encounter and what conversation you may have. Today, he had a plan and his plan was ten times better than anything I could have imagined. 

Truthfully,  I can’t say I am someone who lives from a day to day philosophy. I have always been a planner, for even as a child I planned my future out what I thought would happen and what I thought I wanted for my life and what order I believed it would happen in. It makes me laugh now because I realized the old saying ” tell god your plans and he'll laugh,” has a whole new and deeper meaning to me. I have seen the power in living day to day lately, trusting God and giving God the control to use my day in whatever way he wants to. Today, he decided to not follow my typical Friday afternoon routine he truly mixed it up. Let me explain..

 I had one extremely random but powerful encounter with someone today that I honestly could never have planned for or imagined. It started out as a guy giving me his card to vote for him in the upcoming student government elections. He was friends with my friend’s brother and I found out through our introductions that he attends a church in Trenton. He went through his introductions and ended up being distracted by a professor he saw walk by. He started to then tell the story of his day and how God used it and right then I knew this was not going to be just any kind of Friday.

I could have excused myself and chose not to wait and listen with my friend, her brother and this new guy I just met. But something told me I better sit down so I did. It turned out he had a prof talk about the church and God in a business context, and did not do a fair job in describing the cost of being associated with a church and with God. So he rose his hand and with a few words uttered, ” there was only one cost and God paid it with his son”. Those words were bold and it took courage to speak that in a class that associates the church as a lucrative business and nothing more. He spoke about how the church is not solely a business to gain profit but that it has a purpose and that is to bring hope and salvation to people.

I saw his passion for Christ and I knew we shared a boldness for living with the purpose of sharing the good news to people. A discussion started to form, and in the midst of us God’s presence was there and the passion for God and his calling was loudly proclaimed in the middle of the school cafeteria. Yes this was bold to talk about Christ so publicly but passion took hold of us and we could not help but share our hearts with each other. However, what came from it truly spoke volumes about the God we serve.

The other two members of our posse had to leave for work and I was about to leave as well, but my spirit prompted me to stay. What I didn't see then that I see now was that God had a plan and to be perfectly honest he wanted me to pay attention. The Holy Spirit was leading me to listen carefully and little did I know the conversation we were going to have would be about something that I have been asking the Lord for since last year. It finally came to pass.

We spoke on the power of "going against the grain", going against what the world puts value and holding out for greater. We spoke on boundaries and why they are important and why they help keep us on the path of righteousness rather than on the path of destruction and death. We conversed about the power of meditating and truly digging into God’s word for it is truth and life to all those that hear it and he gave examples. However, what God truly spoke to me through this conversation in the cafeteria is that he leads gently and he does not force us to make a choice. He will give us the information and peace to make a decision and he will walk with us as we walk forward in our decision and on the righteous path. I began to realize that he lets us know when sin is at our door and what boundaries to put up to keep sin from entering in, and to keep our hearts and souls protected. Our conversation spoke of giving glory to God in our actions and in our words, but most importantly with our lives. 

In Ephesians 6:13-19 it talks about putting on the armor of God. I remind myself to do this often times but I didn't necessarily know what that entailed until today. As children of God, we are protected by a spiritual armor that consists of faith, peace, truth, integrity and salvation. We use prayer as a weapon against the enemy and it truly helps strengthen our faith and our trust in the Lord and in his battle gear he gives us.

That passage was a good reminder, but it was so much more than that. It was a proclamation that he is on the battlefield alongside me. He has placed people to have seemingly random conversations to help propel me forward in confidence, even if I am unsure of what lies ahead. See, God knew that we both needed to talk about the struggles we face by holding out for greater, and that we needed to encourage each other to be strong in the Lord and be bold and proclaim his truth no matter the persecution we endure. He gets the glory for today’s encounter. Both of us left touched by the goodness of God and his faithfulness and we saw firsthand the unpredictability of the God we serve and love with our whole hearts.

All this to say, when you give over your every day over to God to use he may just surprise you and he will bless you and give you the strength to take everything that the day and evening will bring. He is such a Good God.

I must also add that the Holy Spirit prompted my spirit to wait and listen and if I didn't heed that “gut feeling” or conviction then I truly would have missed out. All in all, today was a day that showed me the importance of not rushing and going through the day but we must let God have control over every minute and every hour of the day to use as he so inclines. It’s our choice. What will you choose?

Perfectly Imperfect

This blog was inspired a by a mentoring blogger of mine, Misty Gatlin. She came up with the idea of writing a list of characteristics that describes her as a way of being honest and open with who she was good, and bad. I decided to do one as well and this is how I see myself in all of my uniqueness and imperfection and they aren't in any order.

I am outspoken and opinionated.

I learn through experience and through other people's wisdom.

I aim to inspire young girls to walk with Christ and know him more.

I am a clumsy runner and often unmotivated to run unless I am trying to catch a bus or get rid of some frustration.

I hike to appreciate nature, get exercise and push boundaries.

I love God with all my heart and soul and often wish I could hear him more clearly than I do.

I swear when I can't get something right after a few tries, and I often cannot stop swearing until I figure out whatever I need to figure out.

I can be both unpredictable and predictable depending on the mood I am in.

I am beautiful and talented and I am thankful to God for what he has given me.

I hate the colour pink though I will wear it on occasion and appreciate its beauty on other people.

I am an overthinker.

I believe that you have to trust in what you can't see in order to believe and appreciate what you can see.

I do not have a great track record in relationships for I am not a trusting person.

I often think about letting out the dog across the street because he barks so darn much.

I would love a dog of my own before I have my own children.

I am often competing with my brother and I have no idea why.

I often love till it hurts and then love more but it often costs me more than I can bear.

I disclose my darkest and deepest secrets when someone has proven worthy of handling and keeping them.

I don't like loud noises especially car horns.

I love camping because I get to be free from the business and noise of the city.

I am intelligent and full of questions that often lead to other questions.

I am not yet a mother but I know I will be a good one when that time comes.

I am loyal to a fault.

I am lactose-intolerant and that makes for a life of embarassing and sometimes gassy moments.

I would love to play guitar but the idea of forming permanent calluses does not appeal to me.

I am committed to the things I am passionate about.

I often am cold even in the summer.

I always want to help people even the people that society deems as lost causes.

I am scared of trusting the wrong person because I have been hurt so many times through betrayal. 

I often have random thoughts that I think about as I am having a conversation with people.

I am not a multi-tasker but I like to believe at times I get quite close to achieving it.

I only fight when I care.

I will stand up for anyone I care about even if it costs me a lot.

I love bananas but I can't stand banana pudding.

I am a child of God.
I often mismatch my socks.
I am lazy after 11pm.
I know that my purpose in this life is so big it terrifies me hence why God hasn't shared with me his full plan for me yet.

I LOVE chocolate despite being lactose intolerant.

I am gentle spirited but can be bold when situation calls for it.

I would love to read my bible more without falling asleep.

I am a worship leader and love to sing about anything and everything especially about my love for God.

Singing in a gospel choir was one of my bravest and most exhilarating moments 

My deepest fear is to reveal who I really am for I am afraid I will be judged for it.

I am perfectly imperfect and wouldn't change a thing but its not an easy thing to be open for me.

Here's to first steps in opening up.

Victory in Your Thinking: Overcoming Fear

This week actually this month has been challenging and full of obstacles dealing with the subject of fear. Fear can be paralyzing, it can cause us to miss out on new experiences.

 The truth is that fear can hold us back and keep us from the things that God has for us in our lives. I asked this question earlier this week " If fear keep us from moving forward but moving forward in the wrong timing can be just as disastrous what do you do" and I asked multiple people this question and the answers varied but one stood out to me. One of my roommates said that it often starts in the mind. She said its mind over matter. 

Fear is often a seed that starts in the mind and it grows and plants into the heart then it produces fruit through our actions. Fear starts as a small doubt, and it can grow into something that becomes debilitating. It starts to take over your ability to make decisions, or takes over your opinion of yourself and alters what you think you are capable of and your strengths start to feel like weaknesses.
         
         I have been studying two men that had to face fear head on. Daniel and David. Everyone knows about David. He faced Goliath and slew him with 3 small stones. Everyone knows that Daniel got thrown into a lion's den for his belief in God and not being willing to compromise his prayer life even if it would cost him his life. They both dealt with the possibility of dying based on their beliefs. But with belief comes doubt. It creeps in when you least expect it and it has the ability to grow into perpetuating fear. David was a boy of small stature. He had only slain bears and other predators of sheep before. He had no previous experience that would qualify him to take on Goliath. He must have had doubts. Daniel was a man who prayed to God everyday and when the decree was issued that no one was allowed to pray that would have caused some uneasiness and a doubt would have been present. The enemy is always on time with doubts in the face of adversity. The truth is the enemy plays dirty, he uses one's own thoughts and emotions to weaken our spirits. Sometimes he succeeds and other times he doesn't. What determines his success is our awareness of what we are thinking about. As Joyce Meyers puts it so eloquently, " The battle often starts in the mind".

        In the bible, it says so as he thinks in his heart, so is he (Proverbs 23:7). It also says in Romans 12:2  Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect (ESV).  The bible tells us what to think about as well ," Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things (Phillipians 4:8 ESV). Our thoughts and what we are thinking needs to be in line with the word of God and his will. Anything outside of that needs to be cast out and not given power. I know this is easier said than done but it is possible with God. I have seen this to be true in my life and in the lives of others.
       

David and Daniel both had to face the doubt in their mind and increase their faith by meditating on who God is,  before they could face the fear head on (lion's den or Goliath). We need to have victory in our thoughts before we can overcome fear. To face fear we must understand that we cannot give power to the thoughts that are keeping us bound. To not be afraid of what people think we must understand and live by how God sees us and his will for our lives. It is to put a stop in putting importance in others' opinion and see God's opinion as the opinion that ultimately matters the most (even when it may not be an opinion shared by anyone else). To not be afraid of rejection, it is to know his love for us and the promise that he will never leave or forsake us. Fear is in its essence is the opposite direction of faith. To conquer fear we must increase our faith. To do this is to meditate on God's word that gives power to our spirit, renews our minds and transforms our thinking to what God wants us to think. As Joyce Meyer puts it, where your mind goes the man follows. Simply put, you will follow your thoughts and where they will lead you. Choose to meditate on God's thoughts about you and the life he has for you and you will see yourself travelling down a wonderful path, a path of abiding in peace and one that is victorious and prosperous. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A6LVkcfgmnc

I am Overcomer

This blog is vulnerable and it is in essay format for it is a project. I hope it empowers, and brings an awareness to the ongoing struggle and realities of living with mental illness. I hope this helps people to relate to other people that live with and must deal with mental illness on a day to day basis. I want people to open their minds and see that there are people who know what it's like to be bullied because of a label society put on them. Some people may be at the place of beginning this tough journey, and others may be where I am, who see the victory that can come from the hard work that is required of people who are in this battle. It is a battle that is ongoing. Thankfully, we are not alone!

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"I am not a victim. This was not my fault. He cannot hurt me anymore. He will never take anything from me again. I am more than what I struggle with. I am not a label. I have rights. I will not refuse help. I am not someone who quits. I am more than a sexual assault victim. I am a leader. I am a mentor. I am a sister. I am a friend. I am I am more than my struggles. I will forgive. I am not a victim. I am an overcomer." 

There was a time when these words above would never have been uttered out of my mouth. I would hear people say them but I would not believe they were referring to me. How could they define me? They would change their mind when they hear what I have been struggling with, what I will never forget. There was a time when I could not wake up or do any of the tasks of the day without saying over and over in my head “I cannot do this.”  Mental illness is real. The stigma is real. The hope that exists in living with mental illness is real. The purpose of this essay is to paint a picture of overcoming obstacles that come from living with mental illness, to discuss the stigma surrounding mental illness and to illustrate the need for awareness and the power that comes from it. In addition, I will show how I have risen above the stigma and what it means to me to be an overcomer. I will discuss this issue through use of my own personal narrative in hopes of illustrating the realness of the challenges that I believe I have overcome, and that other people can overcome if they have the right support and information. 

            Mental illness is a term that has personally been in the past associated with weakness, judgement, confusion, blame, and pain. It has not been a term that has brought me hope or encouragement. It took until my last year of university to come to terms with the fact that I have struggled with mental illness. It does not make me weak or diseased. It means that I have faced my problems head on and have consequently, needed time to heal and recover from my wounds trauma left behind. It was  a label to describe me that was often given by counsellors, teachers, and some students. It was my identity for a time. Now, it is a term in which I see my humanity. I see other people who suffer from mental illness as strong not weak. It takes great strength to live with mental illness and not give up and learn to cope. Some people cannot say that they have overcome mental illness, but they can say that they have learned to overcome the struggles that are associated with it. I am one of those people. I have seen personally that mental illness comes with stigma, ignorance and judgement. I will discuss now in more detail what that looked like in my journey.

In the beginning, I struggled to hold a secret inside that I believed when unearthed, it would shatter people's perspective of me. The secret was the fact that I was sexually assaulted and that I was suffering from depression (a mental illness) and from intense self-hatred as a result of the assault. I was broken. I tried tirelessly to not let anyone see it. Struggling to wake up every day and keep pushing through the day’s activities was not my only difficulty. I struggled to deal with the feeling of being weak if I sought help. What would happen if I spoke up? How would people think of me afterwards? These were just a few of the real questions that I struggled with when first approaching the struggle to seek help and speak up. The day to day realities were not as difficult to deal with in comparison to the amount of effort it took to hide and pretend that I was not struggling. To struggle is often seen as being weak. I would not let people see me as such. This was a persistent issue that resulted from the fear of being judged or being the outcast.

Most people know people who suffer from a type of mental illness. However, they do not realize the amount of stigma that is a result of admitting that you are suffering from mental illness and that you need help. People often forget the fact that people with mental illness are no different than people who are blind, who battle cancer or who have a physical illness. We all share one thing in common: We are all hurting and are in need of support and consideration. We do not need labels. The guidance counsellor in my secondary school put the label "hopeless cause" on me with my teachers and others staff and they all treated me as if I could not be successful. One teacher became the exception. He refused to see me as a hopeless cause. He looked past the label and saw me. People assumed I must cut, I must be suicidal and therefore I must be dangerous. Stigma is ignorance in action. People who are ignorant often do not realize the impact their words and/or negative attitudes can have. The one teacher out of many actually looked for a solution. He took action. He arranged to have my locker put by his office and kept a close eye on things. He helped me raise awareness of bullying in the school to the administrators and fight the stigma in the hallways one person at a time. He gave me a voice. Stigma only has power when it is given a voice. When you silence the voice, truth starts to set in and people open their minds and start to change their perspective. To overcome, one must be willing to change perspective; see the stigma as an obstacle one that can be moved. I challenged myself to fight the stigma by bringing awareness to people. It has been an ongoing process. 

Furthermore, I cannot say I have overcome everything, especially in regards to the sexual assault, however my perspective of it has changed dramatically. I no longer see myself as victim. I can sleep at night without reoccurring nightmares. I rarely experience panic attacks that stem from the memories of that night. With hard work, love and support, I have been healing and I can honestly say that it does not impact my day to day life like it used to. It will always profoundly have an impact, but it no longer is a part of my identity. It does not keep me bound. It is in the past. I experienced freedom from the blame and self-hatred. I am a voice for many who like me have been taken advantage of and left to suffer in silence. I hope my story brings hope and breaks the silence.

 In conclusion, I will say that living with mental illness and dealing with the stigma behind it has been difficult but I have made tremendous progress. With thanks to God, my family and a great support system I can proudly say that I am maintaining a balanced life with high academics, extra-curriculars, travel, and volunteer work as well as balancing mentoring and other hobbies of mine. I have overcome many obstacles but I truly hope that my narrative showcases not only strength, but also hope. There is hope in living with mental illness and overcoming struggle and looking back I can honestly say that I never thought it would be possible to come so far.  I will end with this quote, "Mental health is not a destination but a process. It's about how you drive, not where you are going (Noam Shpancer)." I have seen this to be true for it is a process to live with mental illness and overcome its obstacles but the reward of every step of victory is worth every dragging step forward.  I am an overcomer and I will continue to overcome. That is who I am now. This is my story.

We are Free to Struggle

"Hallelujah we are free to struggle, we're not struggling to be free. Your blood bought and makes us children. Children drop your chains and sing.."-- Tenth Avenue North (Album: The Struggle )

Thank God we are free to struggle. I know I have. I know many in my life who have been struggling lately, struggling to make right choices in the midst of temptation, to be the parent they wish to be, to be the friend they want to be, and/or to be the person they know God wants them to be. There are times when I am worn out by the thoughts, lies or concerns that go through my mind on a daily basis. I am worn out by the amount of responsibility this life gives us with the overwhelming consequences if we do not do what we need to do. I am worn out from the struggle to constantly love and forgive people, 70 times 7.

This week, I have seen struggle.  I have seen people close to me battling fatigue, confusion, loss, and uncertainty. I have seen theirs and they have seen mine. Struggle can be different for everyone, but what is the same is that we shouldn't struggle alone. 

 It is not east to admit you are struggling. It is not easy to admit weakness when people around you seem like they have it all under control. Let me tell you, God never said that we are not free to struggle, that we must be strong all the time. He never said that we must never fail, never struggle to decide and make the right choice. Jesus died to make a way for us not to struggle to be free from our sin, or imperfections. He came to set us free. That means we will struggle but we already have the victory for we have Christ. The sacrifice that Jesus made on the cross provided a way for us to never have to struggle alone without any hopes for a solution. He has and often is the solution to every struggle. Struggles will always be part of this life, but one day there will be a day where the struggle will end and we will see the one who helped us through every struggle on this Earth. We will never have to struggle again.

I am reminded of the importance of recognizing what that when Jesus rose again, the statement was made that we may struggle but we no longer have to struggle to be free. We are free from death. We are free from trying to obtain perfection. We are free from breaking chains of addiction on our own. We have been given the power to overcome struggle because of Christ in us. We are allowed to struggle for God recognizes our humanity,  but He will never keep us in this place. He will help us take hold of the victory. He is the one that will transform us all into overcomers. What a testament to our God that will be when people who don't know God see that there is hope, we can rise above our struggles with His help.

Can you imagine if we taught children that it is alright to struggle but they are not in their struggle alone? What if you and I loved people through their struggle and reminded people that the truth is that they need not bear the struggle alone? Can you picture the overwhelming joy that would come if we told people that they did not have to keep struggling to be free? 

The power of the freedom to struggle is to realize that there is a solution. In 1 Peter 5:7 (amplified), it says, " Casting the whole of your care [ all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all] on him for he cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully." 

In simplest form, it means we can give over our struggle to Him for he cares about us and wants us to live in the freedom He provided. We may still need to struggle sometimes to come to the understanding that we cannot do it without Him. But thank God he will never leave us struggling for long. Hallelujah! Praise our God who not only saved us but literally set us free!

Listen to the song The Struggle by Tenth Avenue North here: 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSH3Q6O_7w8

Refuse to let fear dull your light

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.  We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?  Actually, who are you not to be?  You are a child of God.  Your playing small does not serve the world.  There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.  We are all meant to shine, as children do.  We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.  It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.  And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.  As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ~ Marianne Williamson 

       Have you ever felt like you just stand out no matter how hard you try to blend in? Have you ever been afraid by the brightness of your light? The quote above, touched my heart and says perfectly the answer to how to be an impact-- shine bright and not hide your light. It is often in facing the fear of standing out that we set people's inner light aglow and give them courage to let theirs out into the world.

 I realized this week that no matter where I go, people will see my light. They will see the glory of God that surrounds me. They will know something is different about me, because of the way I live my life for my God. My God who satisfies me completely and takes care of all my needs, who is my light. They will see that there is a different way to live this life, one that doesn't leave individuals feeling empty or seeking outside fulfillment. People see the brightness of my light through what I say, what I do, and who I am. So often times, I feel as though I have to be cautious of what I am putting out into the world.

However, saying that you may think well isn't that a lot of pressure? 
Truth is it is not easy to have your life under a microscope, where all your flaws and every action and corresponding consequences are observed and analyzed. However, what I have come to realize is that God prepares us and strengthens us. He gave us the mission to be light to the world to be the salt of the Earth. Therefore, He makes it possible. He does a work in us so that we are able to carry  We have all felt like our light has been extinguished at times. Life is full of dark times where it seems like there isn't even a light at the end of the tunnel. I've been there. But thank God he has been there to rekindle my flame. He lets his light swallow my darkness. He will do the same for you. 

My impact to this world has often at times been hindered by my fear to shine, to be as bright as everyone else so that I don't stand out. But this week I am seeing in action the power of standing out. The result of my standing out: others have been more courageous to do the same. People have seen my light through God's favor being demonstrated in my life. It has been shown through the way I trust him to provide and puts things in place, and through my love for him and by the thanks I give to Him. This is to say, it is often through the most simple things that we showcase our light. 

I often don't feel I deserve to shine so bright. I often want to dull mine just so people don't feel like I am more put together than them, or inferior to me. I am far from perfect, but God keeps blessing me and transforming me despite my own insecurities and the darkness that I often face. He has caused me to desire to make an impact and helps me work that out everyday through consistency and love. Showing people love whether its children, families, young adults, adults, or seniors, is a goal that I try to daily live out with God's help. He gives me what I need to do his will. 

I am one person out of many who refuse to let fear hold me back from seeing what God can do in my life and do in other lives around the globe. He has set my heart on fire and my light is shining ever so bright. See, you too can shine bright and face the fear of standing out. All you need to do is let God be your source, do things afraid, and remember having the courage to shine inspires other people to be brave and shine their light. That is how we have an impact, by giving God our feeling of inadequacy and our shortcomings and asking him to show us what he can do through us. He becomes greater when we become less. What he can do, well it may just blow your mind!

My God

Sometimes we need a reminder of who God is,  especially who he is in relationship to us. I have recently moved to a new city and to a new school. I have felt overwhelmed at times and when I get overwhelmed I think about God and his promises, also about who he is. Usually afterwards, I then feel comforted. I was doing the same thing today, but today it started to become a rhyme or spoken word. I started writing it down. The result was truly a beautiful representation of My God and still it doesn't do him justice. He isn't just a God he is our God. If you say that aloud boldly, the power that comes from owning that is remarkable. 

I am truly thankful today that we have the privilege to serve a God who is so intimate and loving, who builds relationship with us despite who we can be at times. It is a privilege and honor to be able to call him my God and own that in all its entirety. 

To be honest, it is a simple exercise to do,  just write about who God is to you. I encourage you to do it and see how amazing our God truly is in our lives and why it is a privilege to give him our lives and serve him so passionately.

My All Encompassing God 

September 2, 2014

You are my god who aligns the stars

You spoke the earth to be

You gave life by breathing it into me

You spoke my name to my earthly father

He then passed it on to me

You are my God who does not disappoint

You finish what you start

You constantly bring me joy and peace

You bring me to the place of security

You want to know me for who I am

But you won’t leave me that way

You help me walk through the fire

You fulfill my every desire

You bring life to my body when it is weakened

A body that you have created and know by heart

You are my provide the, giver of everything

You are my God who is all encompassing

You never cease to amaze me

You work all things towards my good

You never hold the bad against me

You see it nailed to the cross on your son

Your son who has provided me a new life

All is forgiven now I need not fear for eternity

For eternity is full of hope and joy for me

You are my God who calms stormy waters

You raise me up when I have fallen

You tell me that I am the apple of your eye

You fill up my well when I am dry

You sit with me when I feel alone

You comfort me when I am missing home

You are my God who can do all things

A god who never fails to bring mercy

You dish out unending grace constantly

You will not change even despite my inconsistency

You know my beginning from my end

Yet you remain faithful through the middle

You are the God the only God

A God that I have the privilege of knowing

You are God, a God I am thankful to call my God

Over the past weekend, I went camping to a place called the Pinery. It was a beautiful place with beauty, adventure, and a place for opportunities for God to speak. He did. This time he chose to speak to me through a family of wild turkeys.

I was walking in a forest along a path frustrated, for it felt that my friend and I had been walking the path forever and getting nowhere special. I was losing patience. I heard that still voice inside saying, "Pay attention." So as normal, I kept going and as I came around a corner I realized something was moving in the leaves. Sure enough, a group of wild turkeys were walking in a line across the path. As I observed them quietly I saw a few things:

1)      The turkeys were walking in unison and walking straight ahead.

2)      No turkey was out of line.

3)      The turkeys trusted their leader to cross them safely.

  4)      One baby turkey needed some help crossing and so the last turkey nudged him one foot at a time till he crossed safely. (The baby must have been terrified and did not want to cross with us watching him). 

This created a beautiful picture that reminded me that there are times in our lives where we trust the leader just like many of the little turkeys did, safely and confidently without straying. There are other times when we are the leader and people are following us for we are giving them direction or guidance in an area of their lives. Sometimes though, we are the turkey at the end that needs patience to extend a helping hand to the one who is trailing behind or who needs some help along the way.

How many times have you been the baby turkey who just needed some pushing from God to keep moving straight ahead? How many times have you needed to just take it one step at a time so that you could at least keep moving forward? Have you ever been the turkey who needed to help someone else who was struggling to keep moving forward in life and realized you needed patience?

Life has many circumstances, some in which you are leading and trusting fully, and other times when you need some convincing and a little nudge. God reminded me though that there are times in our lives that we need to help someone take one step at a time and not rush them on their journey. We have all heard the saying that “patience is a virtue,” but I am learning it is the key to helping others progress forward. 

The bible says in 1 Thessalonians 5:14 New International Version (NIV),

¹⁴ And we urge you, brothers and sisters, warn those who are idle and disruptive, encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone.

It also says in Ephesians 4:2 (NIV),

² Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.

What I can see from both verses is that we must learn to be patient with everyone, the strong and the weak, the disheartened and the courageous. We must be patient and endure with each other and ultimately do it in love. This is a task that requires time and taking it one day and one step at a time. What would have happened if the last turkey pushed the baby across? Would the baby feel confident the next time it had to cross? The baby turkey is better off learning how to cross on its own. It just needed a little encouragement. God always gives us time and space, but he gives us the encouragement and sometimes a nudge to keep moving forward and make it past the obstacle. God knows it starts with a step.

One foot in front of the other is a good way to approach life. Many times I have been the baby turkey just trying to take one step at a time with a little nudge from either from parents, a mentor, or God himself. However, lately I have been the one in line nudging people to keep moving forward. This has been a challenge for it is not easy to get someone moving if they want to remain still and where they are. However, God has shown me to appreciate the little steps and don't worry about the time it takes to get to the destination. He gives the patience for everyday we just need to walk in it. God doesn't fret and neither should we. Just like the baby turkey we will eventually all arrive at the destination, despite any hesitation along the way.

One foot in front of the other is a good mantra. But let's remember that it’s not just a cute saying or song, we truly need to appreciate the little steps and sometimes being willing as leaders to give the little nudges. For we are all going to cross and arrive if we work together. We can learn something from the wild turkeys. No one is the weak link everyone at times is like the little turkey, we just need a little help to get there.