I can honestly say without a doubt that this is the craziest, life changing, and challenging year yet for me. I have gone through new first experiences, including learning a new culture firsthand. I have explored who I am further and I have pushed my boundaries. However, I really want to focus on the accomplishments that I can say were challenging to achieve.
How many people can say they have lived in another country away from home knowing that they would have to relearn how to "be" in order to fit in with the locals and acquire their respect. Honestly, I was terrified to embark on the journey to learning a new culture and pushing my own boundaries and pushing myself to see how much I could handle. I have fed monkeys, worked with children who did not know much English and I had to learn different ways of communicating with them and teaching them so that they could acquire new knowledge and grow. I was forced to unlearn a few things and be open to a whole new way of teaching. I struggled to embrace their ways at first but as soon as I put aside my own ambitions and knowledge I gained a greater appreciation for learning and for mentorship. The teachers I worked with truly taught me how to live, how to see the bigger picture and how to think on the fly. Teaching a class of 50 children is tough enough try doing it in a cramped classroom with limited resources and not knowing the language. It gives a whole new perspective on what's difficult and the teaching styles that you learn in university are definitely tested. The journey to living in Ghana and acquiring a more complex understanding of culture and what it means to live, in different contexts. I truly believe you haven't lived until you learn a new culture. There is so much to gain from being without a clue to learning how to cope and acquire the skills to embrace your new surroundings. The people I met, and the relationships I have made in Ghana alone are truly blessing from God that I thank him for giving to me this year.
Another part of my year was the relationships and learning about myself and what I want. Lately, I have realized (a little late but rather late than never) that you can never truly turn to the next chapter unless you let the previous and everything in it go and realize that you only take memories and lessons with you but that once you leave it in the past you can't ever go back to the way it was. You can't begin a new start with somebody new if you still think about the old and compare other people to what you had. Learning about who you are requires looking at the choices that you made in the past and understanding what went wrong, what went right , and how you can improve so that you don't make the same mistakes and so you can avoid going in circles. I have loved and I have lost. I have learned the hard way that distance makes love much harder than you ever think it will be. I have learned that determination in a relationship isn't always enough. You can fight to keep something alive and it could still die and its hard to accept that. People who are married understand that love or I should say the feeling of love fades and after the honeymoon phase the hard work begins. One day I will experience that for myself and see how hard that is. However, for now I can honestly say that love is only hard when you have to try so hard consistently. Loving is easy when the other person loves you in return and accepts you for who you are its not so easy when you have to love someone the way God loves us. I have learned that unconditional love and romantic love are very different and each require God. I could have saved myself so much pain and heartache if I just let God have the control and trusted him with the outpouring of my love. A new year brings new chances to get it right and love like he did and still does.
Lastly, I have to come the place of humility and I have reflected and I have seen the challenges of this year including the loss of my opa and learning what it means to mourn and go through the storms that come with that. I am grateful for all those who are in my life that have supported me and love me and have been by my side. You are all so beautiful and I am grateful for all of you! This year has had its ups and downs, its wow moments and I am sure like most of you, it has had some new realizations and new experiences. I am going into this new year with a fresh outlook on life and I am walking in with new resolutions that I will be accomplishments that I will write about next year. Happy New Year Everyone! Let's make this a year that we can look back on and say I accomplished what I set out to do!
