Being on the Outside

It can be intimidating to be different. It can feel lonely, and it can feel overwhelming. Today, I felt like I was on the outside. Even christians can leave others out. Within the youth, I feel as if somehow I am completely different, as if I don't belong. They did not talk to me or even acknowledge me. Why? Is it because I act differently? Does my maturity play a part in why I am on the outside?
I kept asking myself why am I not accepted as one of them? What I realized is that when you are a leader, you are often alone. You must set an example, and sometimes set yourself apart from others. I am different from them. I have different desires than them, and I have a deeper relationship with God than them. I feel as if I am somehow put on a pedestal. I feel as though they think that I can't understand what they are going through. Am I out of touch with the youth? I am often with kids or with adults not youth. My association with older people is definitely affecting my relationships with the youth and others my own age.
Should I leave or should I stay? Can I be a good influence to them while feeling on the outside? All I know is that Jesus was the perfect example. I know that he has a purpose for my life, but I am not certain that he still wants me to stay with the youth. I feel as if I am questioning whether or not I should remain where I am, or should I move on?
I will sleep on it, and pray about it. I have felt this pull on my heart for a while so now I just need the go ahead. For now, all I can do is wait.

Soar Like an Eagle. Avoid being chickens

I was reading Joyce Meyer's Book, Never Give Up!, and I came across a very interesting passage that I thought I would share with you. Its about how sometimes christians can be chickens. They can be afraid of what God has for them, they are afraid to be different than the crowd. When a storm comes they run and hide. Then on the opposite side, we have eagles. Eagles are courageous, strong and they are not afraid of storms. They soar alone, they are committed, and they are highly devoted. She then goes describing a story in which an eagle was raised by a farmer in a chicken yard, and one day when a storm raged the eagle boldly left the yard. The eagle soared, while the chickens hid. She explains that sometimes Christians have hearts like eagles but they are trapped in chicken yards. They know God has a purpose for them, but they don't want to face all the criticism, and soar alone.
In my own life, there have been times when I was a chicken, afraid to step out away from the crowd. I was intimidated, and I didn't feel like I could deal with the criticism I would receive. There have also been times when I have the "urge to go for it," leave the nest and branch out alone, knowing God is with me. This week has been of those weeks. God told me to leave someone behind in order to experience greatness. Of course, me being human, my first instinct was to hide. I wanted to forget about the urge to let go and move forward, because I was comfortable with where I was. However, God has shown me that sometimes we must soar alone, trust in him that he will guide us and give us the strength to move forward. Courage is not the absence of fear, rather pushing through, and forward while the fear is still present. So I exhort you, be an eagle, soar high and let God take you places that you never imagined going. We can choose to be eagles who stay grounded for it is comfortable. Or we can choose to be strong, bold and loyal eagles God has made us to be. As he thinks in his heart so is he(Proverbs 23:7), shows us we become what we think. So let's start widening our horizons, start pushing boundaries and be eagles and soar on the wings of his love, grace, and his goodness.

He is the wind beneath my wings. He gives me flight through the raging storm, and soars with me through the destruction. He rests with me through the calm. He is strength, courage, and he will help me push through. No one is like you lord. I will soar with you.

Closure

Closure. It is something we need. It is something that no one likes to talk about. It is something that is difficult to achieve. Closure is what we all need at one point or another before we can move on. How do we gain closure? How do we move on? These are questions that have bombarded me these last few days. So as I sit and write, I realize that sometimes closure is knowing the truth, what someone feels inside there heart that has not been shown or shared with anyone. Sometimes, it is just letting go of the pain, the guilt, the ifs and could have beens. Sometimes it is seeing what is difficult to see and even harder to accept as a reality.

I think of closure as an open photo album, filled with many pages of memories and images that cannot be erased. However, eventuallyI reach the last image and realize I have reached the end and therefore I must finally close it. It is bittersweet, I enjoyed the pages and remembering what had happened, the laughs, and stories hidden in every page; knowing still that the album is finished and I must move on. The good thing about photo albums is you can make many more.. Closure allows us to move forward but says goodbye to what we had.

Closure can take time to achieve. Depending on the situation, closure can be relieving or it can be admitting to a failed attempt (I.e. relationship that did not work out). Either way, closure is needed to move on. So, how do we gain it? We allow the pain and guilt to subside, and we make a conscious effort to push forward. No one said that it's easy, but it is necessary.

New found freedom

In life, we are given choices. Choices that lead to either destructive paths or paths of blessings and opportunities. During the course of life, through all of its uncertainty, there is beauty in the unknown. God has given us all blessings, and each and every day I see his love and these blessings. I have found a new freedom that I feel like was always there but I was too busy worrying to see it. All I know is that he shows me how blessed I am and how much I have been given. he continues to surprise me, and show me new greatness in myself and in others. He is the love of my life, and every day I want to get closer to him. This is only the beginning of my journey with him.

Everyday is a privilege given from him. Let's live and love according to his word and his example.