I have contemplated whether or not I would publish this one. Parts of this blog was written after weeks of heartache and disarray. I have decided to share it for it shows vulnerability and I am sure you all can relate. Just a note: You might want to make a tea or coffee it isn't a brief blog this time. I hope you are encouraged as I have been.
It has been a difficult month filled with disappointments, trials, temptations, and questions that left me questioning where I was heading, and what would occur next. I have a track near my parent's place where I go sometimes to be alone with God. This is the place where I met my Heavenly Father’s love and began to realize a very important concept: praising God through the pain. That rainy Sunday afternoon, I ran the track over and over again with a wounded heart and more confusion and pain than I could individually handle. Circumstances overwhelmed me. Tears flew down my face and my heart was beating irregularly. Previous to that, in church I had fallen and could not get up due to spasms in my lower back that caused me extreme pain. It was caused by the anxiety from an incident that happened earlier, and a few following that overwhelmed me. This to say, I was not in the place where praise was coming out of my mouth. I was more like words of anger and of confusion.
Why did this have to happen in a day that started with pure joy? What do I do now? God, why couldn’t you have stopped it?
Any of these questions sound familiar to you?
I was at a loss for words and my joy seemed to have taken a hike. I was forced to deal with my wounded heart. Luckily, a father's love stretched down to me, while the rain literally soaked my head. He kept me on my feet and it truly felt as if he was grieving with me. My flesh was mourning a loss and disappointment and my spirit was quiet.
It waited.
Sometimes when we are in an emotional state, our voice becomes silent. It cannot express what is happening on the inside. The flesh continues to moan and groan and continues pondering questions maintaining the emotions of distress. It cries, kicks, screams, or anything to relieve itself of the heart ache caused by the anger/disappointment or the pain. This is when the true test comes will we listen to what God is speaking to us or will we let our emotions keep us from offering our brokenness and weariness to our Heavenly Father. It is not easy admitting to a wounded heart and to allow God to bring healing for we must let go of our need for pity and accept true comfort that no other can give. This is my greatest weakness to accept help from another.
In Psalms 69, David is in a state of distress.. It is described in verses 1-3:
"Save me O God for the waters have come up to my neck...I sink in deep mire, where there is no foothold; I have come into deep waters, where the floods overwhelm me. I am weary with my crying; my throat is parched; my eyes fail with waiting for my God."
That to me sounds like a cry for help, a signal of distress was sent [a 911 call so to speak] to the Almighty God to help rescue him. In the same chapter in verse 20, David expresses his state of distress:
" Insults and reproach have broken my heart; I am full of heaviness and I am distressingly sick. I looked for pity, but there was none, and comforters, but I found none."
This is what is important to see. Later he goes on to say in verse 30:
" I will praise the name of God with a song and will magnify Him with thanksgiving."
I asked God how David could praise God when he was in anguish. Here is a man who loves you, who is clearly distressed and broken proclaiming that he will praise your name and thank you with a song? This got the wheels in my head turning. When I am distressed or suffering from a wounded heart, the last thing I want to do is thank God. I do not want to praise him. I will worship him, but silently. I will keep to myself until the pain either fades, or becomes too much of a burden to bear alone. Then I usually will pray for strength. It bothered me and made me uneasy to see that I become silent when I lose my joy. So I prayed about it. This is the new revelation that has changed my life.
Psalm 69:32
" The humble shall see it and be glad; you who seek God, inquiring for and requiring Him [as your first need], let your hearts revive and live!" When we praise God in times of weariness and when we are wounded, we place him first. We place our focus not on the circumstances, but on our faithful God. We see his strength. We see his track record. It becomes no longer about our wound, rather on how our God is healer and worthy of praise. Our hearts will revive and others will see the faithfulness of our God as we proclaim it.
Healing flows in through praise and worship. Praise, however is different than worship. Praise is exalting God, acknowledging all the things he has done in our past by bringing hearts full of thanksgiving to Him. It becomes more about how faithful He is and less about why the situation occurred the way it did. It is sacrificing our own pride, acknowledging that we are nothing without him. In times of distress, it is vital to praise God for he will not only bring healing, but he will also remind us of his greatness and faithfulness. Our joy then returns. The flesh will keep silent or will complain if we allow the brokeness to dwell in our hearts. Allowing our voices to be raised to glorify God silences the enemy. It places the focus on God and not on our failings or the disappointments and the enemy loses its foothold. Our spiritman awakens when we praise God and our flesh is silenced.
In Psalm 71 verses 14 and 15, David explains perfectly why praising God is necessary.
"But I will hope continually, and will praise You yet more and more. My mouth shall tell of your righteous acts and of Your deeds of salvation all the day, for their number is more than I know."
This to me is simply beautiful and extremely important to remember. Even though there will be times of uncertainty and pain and distress, we can trust that God will prove faithful. We do not have to know the plan, because our
God has a track record of being faithful time and time again.
I encourage you all who are reading this and who made it to the end of this page to praise God daily and remind yourself of the provision he has already provided and how faithful our God truly is. Remember he will continue to be faithful in every season, in every way. Healing comes through offering praise and our joy is restored and the heart is revived as a result.
Psalm 107 is another great scripture that encourages praise for our God is definitely deserving.
Casting Crowns: Praise you In the Storm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uHdcyue0bSw
