Thursday, July 22, 2010
Conviction
A few nights ago I had a strong conviction in my spirit saying that my previous decision was not what God wants for me at this time. I had previously said yes to a man for a relationship hoping that I was following the Lord's plan, instead I find out that it was not from the Lord at all. Obviously confusion and uncertainty filled the next two days, until I made another important decision. I chose to let the man know that I jumped the gun, and that I would not be starting a relationship even though I had previously said that I would. It was one of the hardest decisions I have had to make for it didn't solely involve my heart but another's as well. I know I dissappointed him and possibly even bruised his ego and spirit, but I know without a doubt that I made the right decision. So as I sit on my bed, knowing that tonight would have been our date night, I just remember the conviction I was given and that I must wait.. for it is not my time to be with someone. Let's see if I can stay true to this conviction and soar alone until its time to fly with someone else arises. Day by day is the way to go...
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Step of Faith
Last night, I was delivered from fear and shame that have been with me for so long. I could feel a burden lifted. I remember feeling weightless, and it was a wonderful feeling. I was emptied then refilled with more love, peace, and joy; more of him literally consumes me and now I cannot contain it. I have shared with people I haven't seen in a while and with those who I love and who are a part of the church.
I have also decided to fear and seek the Lord and ask for his presence to never grow old. I have also decided to say yes and accept a partner to be my support, whom I will learn to love and whom will love and support me in return. We are both excited and slightly nervous. I am taking a step of faith and believing that God will help us grow stronger and know his love and each other more. If he is the one that the lord has chosen everything will simply fall into place when the time is right. If not, then I will lean on him for my next step. I am excited to see what the Lord has in store for me this month.
I have also decided to fear and seek the Lord and ask for his presence to never grow old. I have also decided to say yes and accept a partner to be my support, whom I will learn to love and whom will love and support me in return. We are both excited and slightly nervous. I am taking a step of faith and believing that God will help us grow stronger and know his love and each other more. If he is the one that the lord has chosen everything will simply fall into place when the time is right. If not, then I will lean on him for my next step. I am excited to see what the Lord has in store for me this month.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Intimacy with Jesus
It has been a while since I have sat and wrote what has been on my heart. Since March, I have been reading and studying the book by Joyce Meyer called Never Give Up! It is a book that has truly inspired me to live bolder than ever before. For a while, I let fear keep me from what the Lord has for me. This week has been the beginning of a new season that I expected a lot later than the present time. The Lord's timing truly astounds me. I was only looking at my age which to me was a limitation. Praise God that he is not limited for he filled my life with a desire for more than I have ever felt possible.
Just in this past week alone, I have felt the Lord start healing the brokenness that existed from the past. He has been showing me different things that have been changing pre-existing desires and plans that I have had. On saturday, I was at Canada's Wonderland and the Wonder Jam filled of Christian bands such as Starfield and Switchfoot were playing. Two songs in particular, Reign in Us and I will go by Starfield struck something inside of me. For so long I was living my life in a chicken coop, blocked in by limitations that I put on myself. I was just satisfied with living a normal life, like everyone else. However, when those two songs were sung, it was like my soul longed for more. I screamed at the top of my lungs to the Lord to send me to the world, to use me, to remove the limitations I put on myself, and to overwhelm me in his love. I desired him to ignite passion in my soul for something greater. He not only showed me his love and grace but his compassion for the world. In the auditorium all around me, people were crying, some were fallen on their knees begging for more. Many were saved and changed forever, including myself. He showed me that I will no longer be satisfied with the typical. From that night on, I would never be the same. I had found the intimacy I was longing for.
The following day, I felt exhausted from the night before and lacked a strong voice. Ironically, I was singing in the morning. So before I got out of bed, I asked the Lord for a voice, so that I could worship him and praise him again. So when I walked on the stage, I had no doubt that I would have a voice to sing and lead others into his presence. He not only gave me a voice, but he gave me joy and energy to finish what I had started.
The same evening, a vision of an eagle soaring alone with wings outstretched, a heart that was beating fiercely, was revealed to me. Before this image, I was picturing me in a relationship and I had a desire to be with someone. It still amazes me that the Lord already knew my desires, and knew that they would change after that night. For not only did the lord empty me, there was an intensity that I have never felt before. He gave me the strength and courage to tell the guy the truth and then he helped me rest.
This intimacy I have found is nothing like what the world describes intimacy as being. It is peace that surpasses all understanding, a love that overwhelms and literally melts the soul. It is compassion, an intimate bond that cannot be shaken. I can say that I desire to only live for him, and mean it with everything within me. I want to share this love I have found with complete strangers. I have this new found faith to just step out on the stormy seas and walk straight ahead, even if I cannot see two steps in front of me. The circumstances that have stressed me are no longer a burden. Burdens have been lifted and courage of a lion has been given and I cannot say thanks enough.
I exhort whoever reading this to join me in a love revolution and to seek intimacy with him. Jesus has set a challenge to live our lives in love, to share the love we have found in him with those who need it. The lord uses anyone, of any age as long as we are available. He used a child to show me unconditional love after I felt rejection and suffered trauma. I have dedicated my life to serving Jesus and sharing his love with the world. I know many of us have committed ourselves the the Great Commission. With joy I accept the mission, and encourage all of you to not put up limitations. We all have lives that are unique and with different circumstances. Let these not keep us from sharing what we have with the world. The simple things, little acts of kindness go a long way and even children can participate. So let's make it our mission to get to know new people, to show them that they belong in the kingdom of God.
God bless,
Chantal
Just in this past week alone, I have felt the Lord start healing the brokenness that existed from the past. He has been showing me different things that have been changing pre-existing desires and plans that I have had. On saturday, I was at Canada's Wonderland and the Wonder Jam filled of Christian bands such as Starfield and Switchfoot were playing. Two songs in particular, Reign in Us and I will go by Starfield struck something inside of me. For so long I was living my life in a chicken coop, blocked in by limitations that I put on myself. I was just satisfied with living a normal life, like everyone else. However, when those two songs were sung, it was like my soul longed for more. I screamed at the top of my lungs to the Lord to send me to the world, to use me, to remove the limitations I put on myself, and to overwhelm me in his love. I desired him to ignite passion in my soul for something greater. He not only showed me his love and grace but his compassion for the world. In the auditorium all around me, people were crying, some were fallen on their knees begging for more. Many were saved and changed forever, including myself. He showed me that I will no longer be satisfied with the typical. From that night on, I would never be the same. I had found the intimacy I was longing for.
The following day, I felt exhausted from the night before and lacked a strong voice. Ironically, I was singing in the morning. So before I got out of bed, I asked the Lord for a voice, so that I could worship him and praise him again. So when I walked on the stage, I had no doubt that I would have a voice to sing and lead others into his presence. He not only gave me a voice, but he gave me joy and energy to finish what I had started.
The same evening, a vision of an eagle soaring alone with wings outstretched, a heart that was beating fiercely, was revealed to me. Before this image, I was picturing me in a relationship and I had a desire to be with someone. It still amazes me that the Lord already knew my desires, and knew that they would change after that night. For not only did the lord empty me, there was an intensity that I have never felt before. He gave me the strength and courage to tell the guy the truth and then he helped me rest.
This intimacy I have found is nothing like what the world describes intimacy as being. It is peace that surpasses all understanding, a love that overwhelms and literally melts the soul. It is compassion, an intimate bond that cannot be shaken. I can say that I desire to only live for him, and mean it with everything within me. I want to share this love I have found with complete strangers. I have this new found faith to just step out on the stormy seas and walk straight ahead, even if I cannot see two steps in front of me. The circumstances that have stressed me are no longer a burden. Burdens have been lifted and courage of a lion has been given and I cannot say thanks enough.
I exhort whoever reading this to join me in a love revolution and to seek intimacy with him. Jesus has set a challenge to live our lives in love, to share the love we have found in him with those who need it. The lord uses anyone, of any age as long as we are available. He used a child to show me unconditional love after I felt rejection and suffered trauma. I have dedicated my life to serving Jesus and sharing his love with the world. I know many of us have committed ourselves the the Great Commission. With joy I accept the mission, and encourage all of you to not put up limitations. We all have lives that are unique and with different circumstances. Let these not keep us from sharing what we have with the world. The simple things, little acts of kindness go a long way and even children can participate. So let's make it our mission to get to know new people, to show them that they belong in the kingdom of God.
God bless,
Chantal
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