Laundry

I have piles of dirty laundry everywhere. It is covering my bed, my chest, and my floor. However, this laundry is not what is annoying me. The dirty laundry I am referring to is the lies that exist in my life. It is the secrets that I have kept from others, that have fooled myself. They are adding up, causing me to wonder when they will all be released, either on purpose or by accident. The lies, the ones I tell myself everyday, were at first believed, because I told myself it would be easier. For example, the lie of saying that my skin keeps, and scares people away, was just something I told myself to keep people at a distance so I would not be rejected like I have been before. I have told myself for as long as I can remember, that in order to feel sexy one needed to show cleavage or show off the assets. All these are lies. They are lies that I have told myself in order to keep people where I wanted them, either close or far. I have realized now that these lies are simply that lies. They only hinder me, and keep others out.

Recently, I have realized that not only must I leave these lies behind me, but I must also face the fact that not relationship will end in heartbreak. First, I need to take care of myself, and then I can learn to let people in. It is so easy to keep people at a distance, especially when one has been so hurt too many times. I also do not have to please men by showing off my assets rather be confident in who I am. Too many women have fell into that trap. I want others to see the good qualities in me, not just my physical beauty. Its a start.