Ecclesiastes 2

I was reading in Ecclesiastes 2:10-11
Solomon expressed:

" Whatever my eyes desired I did not keep from them. I did not withhold my heart from any pleasure, for my heart rejoiced in all my labour, and this was my reward from all my labour. Then I looked on all the works that my hands had done.
And on the labour in which I had toiled; and indeed all was vanity and grasping for the wind. There was no profit under the sun."

This spoke to me, for often we find ourselves grasping for vanity, toiling and being rewarded for all our hard work. Whether, it is being a mom constantly cleaning and providing for her children, to a business woman trying to provide for her family. It can be a student trying to obtain a decent job and impress the employer. We all work hard to obtain things of monetary value. We all strive to work so we can afford necessities, luxuries, and things that bring us pleasure. There is no shame in this. Working hard allows us to feel accomplished, and allows us to be able to provide for ourselves, and our families. However, sometimes individuals, including myself put rewards and vanity before our relationship with God. We are all at fault. However, the Lord explained to me that he is the accomplisher for it is his hands that creates, designs, works to make a profit. For we are not alone. We are his workmanship, beautiful creations that he chooses to reward and bless. Vanity, and rewards will profit nothing alone. When we work towards getting to know him, we are not only rewarded spiritually but we also profit while we work, create, and live in our lives. We are his workmanship producing great works. It is only when our focus is on him, that we are truly rewarded and profit. Our work is not done in vain, He rewards us everyday. I just feel like vanity and work should be our secondary goals. Our first goal should be getting to know his hands, our creator, the one is our accomplisher.

Laundry

I have piles of dirty laundry everywhere. It is covering my bed, my chest, and my floor. However, this laundry is not what is annoying me. The dirty laundry I am referring to is the lies that exist in my life. It is the secrets that I have kept from others, that have fooled myself. They are adding up, causing me to wonder when they will all be released, either on purpose or by accident. The lies, the ones I tell myself everyday, were at first believed, because I told myself it would be easier. For example, the lie of saying that my skin keeps, and scares people away, was just something I told myself to keep people at a distance so I would not be rejected like I have been before. I have told myself for as long as I can remember, that in order to feel sexy one needed to show cleavage or show off the assets. All these are lies. They are lies that I have told myself in order to keep people where I wanted them, either close or far. I have realized now that these lies are simply that lies. They only hinder me, and keep others out.

Recently, I have realized that not only must I leave these lies behind me, but I must also face the fact that not relationship will end in heartbreak. First, I need to take care of myself, and then I can learn to let people in. It is so easy to keep people at a distance, especially when one has been so hurt too many times. I also do not have to please men by showing off my assets rather be confident in who I am. Too many women have fell into that trap. I want others to see the good qualities in me, not just my physical beauty. Its a start.

What's Next???

Have you ever felt like you were just waiting for something to come to you? Feeling as if you had no idea what your next step would be?

I know today has been one of those days. I finally finished my last exam, and that concludes my first year at Brock University. It feels surreal. It feels like a weight has been lifted, and that I am free to start focusing on me again. So as I am sitting here, I am realizing that it has been about school and work for so long.. that I have forgotten how to have fun and do things I enjoy, without feeling guilty. It's like for once, I am free to do whatever I want and yet I don't even know what that is......

Everyone has responsibilities doesn't matter what roles you play. My role was a student, but now as a student I must prepare for september, when it all starts again. Everyone around me asks " what's your next move," and to be honest it seems like lately I have been asking myself the very same question. Everyone around me knows I am determined, and a hard worker, but not everyone sees the side of me that constantly is unaware of what's to come. In God's word it says do not be troubled about the future, focus on the present. I obviously paraphrasing, but the point still remains that we must not worry about the future and our next move, for the Lord orders our steps and will guide us to where we must go.

My next move.. will be to trust in the Lord to guide me, and to trust in his word. He knows where I need to be, so I must listen for his instruction. Eventually I will know where I need to be.

Until then, I think I am just going to keep on living :)

New beginnings

Its been a while since I last wrote mainly due to the fact that exams are 3 weeks away and I have been killing myself to make sure I am ready for them. However, over the past few weeks, many things have begun to change...

As in my previous blog, I noted that I may no longer be a leader in the youth ministry, and this has proven to be true. I have left the youth group to join Young Adults and I am very glad I did. There are people there that have welcomed me, and now I will be a leader in the young adults. God has opened doors in my life to see more of who he is, and to be surrounded with others who want to do the same. For this, I am truly blessed.

Secondly, I have felt in my heart that this summer I would be working with kids. Currently, I am studying to be an elementary teacher at Brock in the Concurrent Program. It has been a challenge, but overall I have decided to stick with it and keep going. I have enjoyed learning about the psychology of children for it has been a fascinating learning experience, and an eye-opener. I know that God will use my knowledge and skills to touch the hearts of many children. I will be a positive influence and mentor into their lives like mine have been for me.

Lastly, I have decided to try a health challenge to not only eat right and exercise but to also maintain good mental health. It is so easy to slack off, stress, and consequently one begins to overeat. It has been a difficult year so far with all the changes that this health challenge is just what I need to keep me on track. For being a follower of Christ and a leader requires a strong and healthy mind, body, and soul. So I challenge everyone reading this to work toward maintaining a healthy body, and mind, for the lord will work on the heart and soul.

With love,

Chantal